I had an idea this year.
Perhaps it was the wine or a fuzzy-sleep-deprived-mom-moment but an imaginary light bulb clicked on and I reveled in my brilliance. For that one moment, I was brilliant. When the haze lifted, I had two screaming children and too much laundry and a dirty sink full of dishes and I had a sad realization: I didn’t write my idea down, and it was nowhere to be found.
I will forget to buy milk at the store if I don’t write it down. And unfortunately you can’t find ideas in the frozen section, even with a map and compass.
So I soldiered on. And I came up with a new idea. And then realized it was a shitty idea. This went on for months.
In the meantime, I mothered. I played. I worked. I loved.
Late in the summer I realized that I had, in fact, done something amazing this year: I blogged. I threw aside any preconceived notions about what I thought blogging was or should be about, and I just wrote down my life. In doing so, I put an idea to action, and I found a way to make the nuances of parenthood funny (I think) and interesting and, on the days when it counted, tolerable.
So I can commit to keep it going. To making this idea, that never was a concrete idea, into something tangible. There will be changes in design in the near future, and changes in day-to-day life. Hair is longer, steps are being taken, words will be said. I can claim victory in the fact that Aja’s first word was Mama. However, I would not be surprised if Khary claims victory some day in the future when she calls a classmate “motherfucker” at daycare and we get the call. Don’t worry, I’ll surely write about it.
This post was written as part of the Reverb10 event. “Reflect on this year and manifest what’s next.” A little bit touchy-feely, a little bit awesome. [My own interpretation of the event] Today’s prompt: Action. When it comes to aspirations, its not about ideas. It's about making ideas happen. What's your next step?