Papoe

Snoop Dogg just needs a big bowl. Aka, What I’m Reading: Food Edition.

This morning First Lady Michelle Obama unveiled MyPlate, the federal government’s new food group icon, created to replace the old food pyramid. In short, it’s about healthy eating. This led to an interesting back and forth over facebook. A friend posted a link to Nourishing the Children, which has its own food pyramid, showing images of food, with an emphasis on quality and how things are grown (farm raised versus wild). My first thought when I saw this new pyramid was, “What the hell is that?” That, being a picture of organ meats.

The back and forth started because I find this nourishing pyramid unrealistic. The point of the government releasing dietary guidelines is to encourage healthy eating. A person that consumes large amounts of sugar and processed foods cannot be expected to change their diet to raw milk and organ meats. Organic organ meats.

Baby steps.

I do agree with healthy eating and I try to practice it at home. I’ve been frustrated that the First Lady’s Let’s Move Campaign has been vilified, called anti-family, or even anti-american. Get your racist partisan politics out of my kitchen Palin-ites. But I also get frustrated with the crunchy nature of the Nourishing pyramid. I may be from California but I don't like broccoli sprouts on my sandwich. The truth is, if you are that conscious of what you are eating, you don’t need a pyramid, pie chart, line graph or venn diagram to illustrate what to put in your body.

Like I said, I try and eat healthy. We push as many vegetables as we can at the girls. We shop at farmer’s markets. The girls only drink water or milk at home and we rarely give them dessert. Not in a strict, sugar is evil kind of way, but because then if we’re out at a friend’s they can drink juice and eat cookies until the sugar rush has spun their head around 180 degrees.

Still, I like to eat. For you Top Chef fans, when we were in DC last week we visited Spike Mendelsohn’s Good Stuff Eatery where I orderd the aptly titled Prez Obama Burger [Applewood Bacon, Onion Marmalade, Roquefort Cheese & Delicious Horseradish Mayo Sauce). Yum. So in honor of MyPlate, here’s what’s on my reading plate this week.

Foodgawker is a eye candy for your appetite, particularly if you have a sweet tooth. Between the cakes and pies and cookies, there’s the occasional link to a healthy meal, like this Arugula, Watermelon and Avocado salad from fresh and foodie.

If you like Italian Food, Kristina Gill wrote a guest post on Matt Bites about her reviews of five new Italian cookbooks. Ciao Bella.

And if you scoff at all things healthy, here’s Snoop Dogg to remind you that eating is all about layering. Yes, the Superbowl has passed, but you may have a dip in your future. Remember, seven layers is not EVER enough.

 

What I'm reading

The internets are ripe with stories and half-truths and things that make me laugh, or get me really pissed off. Now that I'm working full-time (have I adjusted yet? I'm not sure...) I don't have as much time to blog but in between projects I still like to take the time to stretch my brain. Here's a few of my favorites this week:

The Bloggess reminded me that other people's marriages are also funny (not just mine).Victor ruins everything and also probably hates America. If you haven't visited The Bloggess before, let me just say this: you're welcome.

Christine of Pop Discourse just had her second child. That Kind of Sister is a short, sweet snippet of sisterly love.

Speaking of baby's, Oana Befort's blog is just plain pretty, and she takes even prettier pictures. Today's post, Kissable little thing, is mommy/baby pretty.

I just found Diga(Mama) recently and the other day she made me mad. Not at her. At Satoshi Kanazawa and Psychology Today. In Apparently, I'm Significantly Less Attractive Than A White Woman, she writes about Kanazawa's highly offensive article called Why Are Black Women Rated Less Physically Attractive Than Other Women But Black Men Are Rated Better Looking Than Other Men? The author apparantly uses scientific data to back up his argument that black women are less attractive. I am offended. I'm offended as a women, as a mother of two biracial girls, and as a human being. Why is it important to research attractiveness? How is that helping the world? And the petty side of me wants to say this: Satoshi Kanazawa and Psychology Today, you are ugly.

And for your laughing pleasure: models falling.

 

Don't be a hoe.

A wonderful little ditty from Ms. Tina Fey made its way around the blogosphere the other day. A Mother’s Prayer is her letter (of sorts) to God, and her hopes for her daughter’s future. This includes her desire for no tattoos and a stable life that falls somewhere in between the glamour and grime of acting and the tediousness of finance. I read it and laughed, thinking about how I can relate. I have two daughters. I am already fearful of the life that swirls around them—the dangers that taunt and threaten (sexual predators! lice! purple hair!)—and I am deathly afraid of the minds beneath the curly hair that will rip through my sweet young children at age thirteen and blow my friggin head off.

When it comes time for the various talks, what will I say? Don’t get a tattoo. Or: don’t stop in Placerville on your way home from Tahoe and sit in a Burger King for an hour before deciding to get a tattoo of a shark on your ankle. Why a shark? Because dolphins are too girly.

Don’t be too girly.

Drinking is bad. But then will I have to keep up the rouse that I’m drinking spicy wine because Jocelyn doesn’t like anything that tastes spicy?

Don’t have sex.

Damn. I suck at this “don’t do this” game.

And then I was watching Dancing with the Stars the other night. The dancers were celebrating America with their music and style. If you can call it style. I call it, When Patriotism Goes Bad.

What do you get if Patriotism is taken so far to the edge—with fringe, cleavage covered stars and stripes, and peek-a-boo cootch—that it becomes something else?

Hoeism.

This is what I can teach my girls.

Don’t be a hoe.

Teach your baby to read and eat wry bread

Jocelyn read me a book this morning. Panda Bear Panda Bear What Do You See? Her version went something like this: "Teddy Bear Teddy Bear What Do You See? Foug joghou hweoru dhgou moczoing with me."

I could get all mother-of-the-year on you and say that I taught her to read at two years old. But the truth is that I’ve read it to her enough times that she has memorized the rhythm of the story. And anything else she’s learned—like how to spot an octagon or a stop sign—is from daycare or Sesame Street. They don’t tell you in those parenting books that a lot of this raising kids thing is luck, or letting someone else do it while you clean poop off the sheets.

Which brings me to RIE (Resources for Infant Educators, pronounced “wry.”) The Daily Beast reported yesterday on this new parenting method touted by celebrities. It’s all about getting back to basics, and cutting out the high-stress nature of baby sign language, Gymboree, and strollers. “A crying baby isn’t shushed or distracted but is allowed to release the tension of feeling, and asked why he or she is crying.” There’s a lot more to it than that, of course, but that’s what stuck in my mind long after I read the article.

There are positive points to this crazy rye on toast idea, as there are to various parenting methods. But do I really need a “method” to raise my kids? Some days, maybe. On other days—like every odd day—my girls can outsmart a method. Aja is a very calm child, until she’s not. Just like I am a very easy-going mom, until I’m not. Will she respond to questions about why she’s crying? Hell no. Will she give me any inkling of a reason as to why she refuses to take a bottle? Absolutely not. Her sickness from last week has passed. Her teeth have ruptured the gum line and the drool has stopped leaking from her chin. The bottle is not too hot, nor too cold. But put that nipple a few inches in front of her face and she clamps her mouth shut. Then she gives me a toothy grin that shows off her under bite. So maybe it’s just the bottle? No, that’s not it. She’s also impossible to feed in the high chair. All she wants to do is get out. Strap her in and she screams like a wounded cat.

So apparently, if I were to get all RIE on her ass, I should talk to Aja and explain to her what I’m doing. I should ask, “Why little child, must you cry?” And then I can dangle a paisley scarf in front of face (one of few toys allowed in RIE) and she’ll stop crying and eat like an obedient baby.

Let’s just say that this has not been a good week in the land of motherhood. There has been a severe lack of food, sleep, and patience throughout the walls of this house. No book or method could have helped me. Unless that book or method included an all-expense paid trip for me out of this juice joint.

And speaking of Aja—while she may be a bit behind in her verbal skills, I’m convinced she’s going to start talking soon and her first words will not doubt be: “Drink the fucking bottle mother!”

I would never say such a thing of course. There’s probably a parenting book out there that claims cursing in front of your child leads to feelings of abandonment and self-doubt. But then again, there's probably another book that says speaking to a child at their level will make them a better citizen of the world. That book starts with the letter A. And I always listen to the books that start with A.

Duh duh. Goo goo gaa gaa.

 

Do you RIE, or just eat rye toast?

Predicting divorce? Don't believe everything you read.

If an economist performs a stupid experiment in the woods and a tree falls and hits him in the head, would the study be deemed worthless? If a man marries and has a baby girl, is he more likely to leave the marriage than if his wife had birthed a boy? The economist in the woods says yes.

There was an article on The Daily Beast yesterday that listed the 15 Ways to Predict Divorce. It’s a nice compilation of random facts and studies. The one that stood out the most was number 6: If you have a daughter, you're nearly 5 percent more likely to divorce than if you have a son. 

I don’t necessarily dispute the findings. This is not to say that I agree with the findings. They are bullshit. I do believe that these men spoke to X number of parents and asked X number of questions and their findings lead to the conclusion that there is a gender bias. However, I don’t agree with the conclusion that it is true for the masses of fathers in the world. That is just my opinion. But more importantly, it leaves me wondering, what are we supposed to do with this information?

If I were to believe this "Demand for Sons" and want to have children (assuming that I don’t already) should I go so far as to choose the sex of my child to ensure that my marriage remains intact? I realize I’m taking this idea to the extreme, but the technology regarding sex selection exists and may one day be a widespread practice. Should I really look at having a girl as a detriment to my life? Should I love my life less because I don’t have boys? Absolutely not. And Khary would agree. Having children can be stressful at times, but it has only strengthened our marriage. Just look at him—this is a man that adores his daughters, and our family.

I certainly am not trying to make light of divorce—I’m a child of divorce. Had I been born a boy, would my parents still be together? I can say with complete certainty that it wouldn’t have mattered. I think a child’s gender influences how a family “works” because our house would certainly function differently if we had two boys. But those boys would not bond us together more than we are now. The study mentioned that the “divorce effect” becomes larger as a family increases in size. That seems logical, but what it really means is that the stakes become larger when a family grows. I just don’t think that having a girl or boy factors into the equation with such certainty.

So wave your girl flag and kiss your daddy, because he’s probably not going anywhere. Of course, if you are to believe any of the other 15 predictions, you better beware of smoking, red states, and Americans.

 

What do you think of the 15 Ways to Predict Divorce? Is there one that popped out for you as an absolute truth or total bullshit?